How to get the llama without drama to Surrey in a hurry

Smooth customs clearance is the dream. The reality may look different. Incomplete documentation, special procedures – in centuries of border checks, things may have become more digitized, but not necessarily more simple. That's especially nerve-wracking when the goods you seek to deliver are time-sensitive, because they spoil quickly or, even more urgent, are alive. Whether it's a horse, poultry, or a racing llama you are trying to get across the customs border. 

Want to sing along? Here are the lyrics:

(Chorus)
I bear the cross-border, cross-border, cross-border cross
And all I ever want to do is get these darn ole goods across
I bear the cross-border, cross-border, cross-border cross
Hey boss, give me raise before I toss this cross-border cross

(Verse 2)
The customs officer is picky -
declaring livestock can be tricky -
What tariff code will he want to see
For a member of the camel family?
Are all its papers well in order
Or will it get stopped at the border
Because the data’s incomplete
And it’s stuck waiting in the heat?

(Verse 3)
Whether because of Excel madness
That drives all customs clerks to sadness
Whether a broker made a blunder
That makes this whole thing come asunder
I’m at the mercy of the mess
That’s any manual customs process
My life would be much less erratic
If this task could be automatic.

(Verse 4)
Yet customs clearance software is far
Whether in Paris, or Dakar
And when my company won’t see
How much potential there could be
To seriously reduce drama
For all involved – most so the llama –
Which surely would much rather be
In Surrey already, sipping tea.

(Chorus)
I bear the cross-border, cross-border, cross-border cross
And all I ever want to do is get these darn ole goods across
I bear the cross-border, cross-border, cross-border cross
Hey boss, give me raise before I toss this cross-border cross

(Repeat Verse 2)
The customs officer is picky -
declaring livestock can be tricky -
What tariff code will he want to see
For a member of the camel family?
Are all its papers well in order
Or will it get stopped at the border
Because the data’s incomplete
And it’s stuck waiting in the heat?

(Repeat Verse 3)
Whether because of Excel madness
That drives all customs clerks to sadness
Whether a broker made a blunder
That makes this whole thing come asunder
I’m at the mercy of the mess
That’s any manual customs process
My life would be much less erratic
If this task could be automatic.

(Repeat Verse 4)
Yet customs clearance software is far
Whether in Paris, or Dakar
And when my company won’t see
How much potential there could be
To seriously reduce drama
For all involved – most so the llama –
Which surely would much rather be
In Surrey already, sipping tea.